Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Stupid Internet Explorer

I'm having hate for my browser and posting this from my phone because apparently the latest permutation of IE just refuses to allow Blogger to post. 

So I've been pretty much half-assing this blog for a while now. There are some reasons for that, not the least of which was a slowly imploding relationship. I've decided to put the blog on hold for a while until I'm in a more stable place on a lot of levels.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Saturday, March 19, 2011

They're All Gonna Laugh at You

That's what the voice of the Little Hater is telling me right now.

I'm starting Couch to 5k tomorrow. I haven't really talked about it because the people I know are great and very supportive.

When it comes to exercise, supportive is bad for me. It's a pathway to crazy obsession. Crazy obsession is something at which I excel. So in an effort to avoid crazy obsessive, I've been quiet about the running thing.

Here's the thing though, the Little Hater is working its ass off to make me not try this. Because I'll fail or people will laugh or I'll fail and they'll laugh because of that. It sucks. I'm still going to do it though. I'm trying to avoid excuses and just do the thing.

Monday, March 14, 2011

Dear Conservative Friend,

I know we haven’t been able to talk in a while. Things have been hard for both of us and I think we have both spoken some words that we would like to take back. I’m writing to you with the knowledge that you probably don’t want to hear this. But I think it needs to be said.

I know that you and the GOP and its propaganda arm, FOX News, have been together for 15 years and I know that you think that you can trust it but there are some truths you need to examine.

There’s a list of things that you should look for within your relationship to determine if you are being abused. I think we should look at some of them together.

Signs of Emotional Abuse

Do you feel that you can't discuss with your partner what is bothering you?

Honestly, can you really express specific, ideologically based dissent? Can you be pro-choice, pro-Planned Parenthood, pro-ACORN, pro-separation of church and state, pro-comprehensive sex education, pro-religious equality, pro-regulation? Can you be any one of those things without courting vilification?

Does your partner frequently criticize you, humiliate you, or undermine your self-esteem?

If you don’t agree with them you are an idiot, a socialist, a fascist. You hate your country. You’re not really an American. In short, anyone who doesn’t agree with their very strict doctrine, as far as they are concerned, doesn’t deserve to be involved with them

Does your partner ridicule you for expressing yourself?
Go back and read the answers to the previous two questions and answer them honestly.

Does your partner isolate you from friends, family or groups?

Does it seem to you that people who used to be open and welcoming of your emails and conversations don’t want to talk to you about things anymore? Have they stopped responding to your emails? Have they even asked you not to email them anymore? Do you think that all of the people who have done that are just wrong? Or is it possible that you’ve bought into a concerted effort to isolate you from other points of view and, you know, facts?

Does your partner limit your access to work, money or material resources?

Yes, they do. You might not like to admit it but they do and they do it in the most selfish, blatant, way. Then, after they’ve stolen your right to protect your job by gutting your right to form and maintain a union, they give your money to their right cronies.

In protecting big business the GOP and their propaganda arm FOX News actively harms you financially.

Has your partner ever stolen from you? Or run up debts for you to handle?

Have you looked at the deficit lately? Guess when most of that was run up? That’s right, during the Bush administration. Remember the financial meltdown? Guess what that happened as a result of? If you said, gross mismanagement by the GOP; give yourself a pat on the back. They stole from you, my conservative friend and now they are stiffing you with the bill.

Does your relationship swing back and forth between a lot of emotional distance and being very close?

They convince you that they care about what you care about. “Jobs, jobs, jobs!”
Then they tell you that subject doesn’t matter. “If some jobs are lost because of this so be it.”

Do you sometimes feel trapped in the relationship?

I know it feels that way but you aren’t. I’m here for you. I have facts over here and logic and compassion and you are welcome here with those things.

Are you afraid of your partner?

If you aren’t you haven’t been paying attention.

It’s OK though. There are things you can do to free yourself. I’m willing to help you. You just have to let me know that you’re read. I’m here for you.


Saturday, March 5, 2011

I've been in a Fashion Place Lately

Clearly I haven't been in a writing place lately.

No. Lately, I've been feeling the fashion. My latest plan is to buy myself so truly fun, brightly colored rain gear. It'll look something like this...

followed by this

and finished up with this

I could also just go with a blue brelly.

I live in Florida and for some reason have managed to do so for years without owning a proper pair of rain boots, a rain coat or a decent umbrella. Yeah, yeah, I hang my head in shame. Well, I would if there weren't so many cute things to look at.

I mean seriously. How cute is this?

I need to own it. I'll also need a pair of cute shoes to go with it.

Listen up fat girls. I am one of you. I have some things you need to hear that maybe others won't tell you. I do it out of love.

You know those lace trim camis that are so popular this season? The ones that are cut long? STOP BUNCHING THEM UP AROUND YOUR WAIST! IT LOOKS AWFUL! Bunching something up around a part makes that part look bigger. Do you want you waist/stomach area to look bigger? No? I didn't think so. Stop it.

Jeggings and skinny jeans? Yeah, stop doing that to yourself. I don't care if advertisments say "We can wear skinny jeans too!" Technically they're telling you the truth. You can wear them in that they are made in your size. You just shouldn't. They're called skinny jeans for a reason. Are you skinny? Neither am I. Stop wearing them. It's not cute.

For the love of god figure out what colors look good on you; not which colors you like but what looks good on you. Wear those colors.

On a totally contradictory note, figure out at least one color that isn't supposed to look good on you and wear it 'cause you love it. The color of the raincoat above isn't supposed to look good on me given its melon/yellow base note. I do not care. Want!

You need to own at least one pair each of black closed toe dress shoes with some sort of heel, black closed toe casual shoes generally flats, brown shoes in both types, one pair (at least) of brightly colored shoes. Boots. Buy them 'cause they are fun. Fuck practical when it comes to boots.

Those are the fashion tips from Miss 'Potamus. Hear and obey.