It is important to remember while reading this post that I do not have chilluns. I do not want chilluns and for the most part I do not like chilluns. Also, I have perfect pitch which means that when I hear a note my brain says A# and if you mean to play a note and instead play three or four or just make some screeching noise that hasn't been heard since the Jurassic period I know it and it makes me want to kill you until you stop.
And yet...
This evening I went to a concert band performance given by our local sixth graders. One of my friends has a child who was performing and due to various factors, largely begging on her part and the rare urge to be nice to someone on mine, I agreed to go. It was excruciating.
When I was a child my concerts included all three grades on middle school and all four in high school so that the more experienced players could ramp up the volume and drown out the tragically bad new players in the lower grades. But oh no, now, due to the continued pussification of America each grade has their own concert and each section has its own song within that concert so we can highlight the progress of the chilluns and aren't they speshul snowflakes and...Oh My Holy Gods please fucking make it stop. Don't play that note again. It does not appear on any sheet of music ever written ever in the history of humans SHUT UP!
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